If you’ve felt as if you’ve had less time to be romantic and connected to your partner lately, you’re not alone. From the pandemic to the rising cost of living and resumed work responsibilities, many families and couples are having to focus all of their efforts at making sure they take care of everything – using up all hours in the day.
This can be quite a tough ask for a single person who lives alone, let alone two people who may need to run a family, a household, and even careers. Yet like anything, romance and connection with someone we love is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. Over time, we might notice that we’ve had less and less time to spend with our partner, and that despite occupying the same household and working towards the same goals, we never really have time to talk or have fun at any length.
In this post, we’ll discuss how you can avoid this getting in the way of your relationship, and what priorities to set in order to renew that bond with your partner, despite the daily responsibilities you may feel encroaching upon you:
Spend Time With Each Other’s Hobbies
One of the best ways to spend time with your partner is to spend time doing something you like. That might be the most obvious statement you’ve ever read, so let’s make sense of it. While sitting down in front of the television and watching a great movie can be fantastic and a nice way to spend time, if you’re truly looking for that worthwhile quality time, then supporting your partner in hobbies they’d like to try can be worthwhile too.
This way, you both get to explore and also not feel as though you’re talking to one another as a matter of principle and necessity, instead of something that you both truly desire to make time for. For instance, if your husband is into trains and model sets, then letting him show you his entire network and recommending an excellent supplier (or even finding a great gift for him) can be a fantastic effort. At another time, he might take you to the book signing of an author that you admire, turning that event into something of a date you can both enjoy. If you spend time with each other’s hobbies, you generally find ‘making time for one another, and continuing to learn about one another, easier than before.
Dumb Fun Is Good Fun
On the other hand, if you feel as though simply enjoying some good, dumb fun is what you want, then that can be a great way to unwind and spend some time without focusing on what you ‘ought to do.’ For instance, you might join a pottery making class and belly-laugh at how your clay on the spinning wheel never seems to conform to the shape you want it to.
Or, perhaps you could just go to the park and walk with your two dogs, watching them run at a million miles an hour. Even some late night music-listening with some wine and slow dancing on the back porch now that summer is here can be worthwhile. Dumb fun is good fun – don’t think you need to intellectualize letting off some steam with one another.
Discuss A Common Schedule
Discussing a common schedule in which you may be able to see each other more can be a good idea. For instance, perhaps you’ve realized that on Tuesday nights, you’re more likely to have dinner at the same time, as you arrive back from work together.
Why not go for the old classic option of ‘taco Tuesday when this happens? Putting together a range of simple ingredients, some hard shell taco covers, and sitting in the garden to eat them could be a lovely way to shake off your stress. What matters is making a dedicated and concerted effort to meet, and to understand how important than is.
Consider Shared Responsibilities
Of course, from time to time it can be worth sharing your responsibilities together if you can’t quite find recreational time for one another. That’s fine too. It might just be that in the morning, you drive your children to the school run and your husband to work if you have the time to spare, and you don’t work a conventional career of your own. That can provide at least some exposure time too.
This might not ‘fix’ the situation, but it can certainly help you add up the time in which you can converse, particularly if you have a few of these efforts combined together.
Of course, sometimes, you just need to have a conversation about the difficulties you’ve been having. Even if you’ve both been a little stressed lately, it’s important to discuss that stress and to make sure the other person knows you’re not trying to avoid them, just that the schedule has been hectic lately.
For instance, it might be that you’ve been so tired and worn out that you’ve had little time for physical intimacy. Instead of allowing the other person to think there’s something wrong with them, just level with them that you feel exhausted and you think you need to rearrange your schedule. This is how long-term relationships make it through the ups and downs, by being pragmatic, taking a little and giving a little. It’s perfectly normal.
Celebrate Dates & Events Properly
Sure, the daily flow of life may not take many prisoners, but it can be healthy to really decide on celebrating and investing in excellent events when you have time to.
For instance, maybe you can make certain that this anniversary, your partner will be booking the restaurant, and you’ll go somewhere nice. Perhaps you’ll get dressed up, and order a nice bottle of wine, and go for a lazy walk along the waterfront before heading to a bar or show. Maybe you’ll even hire a babysitter or ask your parents to chip in. Little efforts like that make a world of difference.
With this advice, we believe you’ll more readily and actively renew your bond with your partner, despite the daily responsibilities you have to keep up with.