*Disclaimer* - This is not a post to gain pity or your sympathy. This is a post, which is related to my life, on a very difficult subject and one that I am very passionate about.
Last year, I went through a terrifying time. A 'relationship' with an absolute creep and an all together, horrid man. I've touched on this slightly on my blog before, but never in detail. I'm still not ready to write about this in full detail and I honestly don't think I will be for a very long time, but after seeing a video on Facebook recently, I thought it was time to write something. I was in a 'relationship' with a guy who told me he was 24. It turned out to be abusive, both physically and mentally ( I was very lucky that the majority was mentally and I only experienced the tiniest of physical abuse) and although it only lasted just over a month and a half, it was the scariest time of my life and to this day I still have nightmares and panic attacks. I was manipulated to believe that my family were against me and he got so far in my head that he made me believe a lot more things. I lost a lot of weight, did a lot of things that I did not want to do (and things that I thought I would never do) and made a lot of bad decisions due to him being inside my head. He took over my life and alienated me from everybody, hurting me more than I thought along the way. I didn't know it at the time, but this plus everything else that I cannot bring myself to talk about (some things that not even my parents know about this time) was classed as Domestic Abuse. It scarred me mentally and even now, a year and quarter on, I still suffer from nightmares and panic attacks.
I know a lot of you have read my post about Anxiety and Depression (here) and this 'relationship' was a massive part of contributing to that situation. He was a horrible, manipulating person and he used his strength and my weaknesses against me to keep me in a situation that I should have never been in. He made me think that I was nothing without him. I went through a lot in those couple of months and it was incredibly difficult to get out of. It even took me a good six months to even feel the tiniest bit safe in my own bedroom, but I moved on. Or at least, I've done my best to move on.